A part of me was petrified of recovery as the very process itself signified the unknown. I was the most afraid of what I may become – myself. I could not accept myself. The development of my eating disorder began and continued in part, as a result of relentless bullying during high school. They (the bullies) had convinced me that I was not a worthwhile person. Consequently, my ED became my new identity and Kylie as I once knew her disappeared into nothingness. Recovery meant that I had to reconnect and move towards a real sense of self. Discovering myself again and relating this to the world without fear has been my greatest challenge – I'm working on it. I think one of the the hardest things is to feel comfortable with yourself enough to take a blinded leap into recovery, but it is a leap that is worth it.