I didn’t realize it was happening until I hit the ground – CRASH! BOOM! BANG!
The overall feeling I had about this was occurrence was shame.I was so deeply ashamed that I did not have the foresight to not allow myself to be triggered.
It wasn’t a complete fall back into behaviours such as not eating enough or exercising to excess but rather a gradual internal shut down. The trigger, a specific person in my case, brought on such profound emptiness and my smile faded all over again. I went from being the most together I have been in years to a complete mess.
I spoke to a dear friend of mine who encouraged me to see it all as valuable learning experience in taking better care of myself into the future. The only way for me to stay well and happy is not be around anything that causes me to feel ill and sad.
I plan to do just that from now on because I don't ever want to feel like I have over the past 9 months.