I feel old in many ways but still so young at the same time. I’ve aged through the whirlwind and struggle which inevitably comes with an eating disorder, but as far as life experiences go, I am only just beginning to enjoy myself. I am learning who I am minus anorexia and I am more at ease with the process than I was a year ago. Time I guess has brought changes that I have craved so dearly and I feel less out of place (Yipee!).
I realize now that a mistake I possibly made was trying identities on and forcing myself to hurry the healing process. So many people in my life began getting engaged, married, having babies, travelling the world and revelling in flourishing careers and all the while I felt absent from the world spinning around me while still trying to overcome this disease. As it turns out catching up on life (and with everyone else) is simply working your way through recovery in your own time and your own way and eventually all life's pleasantries come again naturally if you just let them come as they may. No forcing, no rushing, just let it be. ♥